how to find innocence once again

It’s ours the fate of mutual loss for, after missing each other and each chance so repetitively as we do, we will naturally loose each other. We shall loose to the mind, to weariness; not to forgetfulness - impossible. Perhaps, that is what we both should wish for since we cannot love each other - since life has put us together only to keep us apart. Loving you is exhausting, it keeps craving into my heart 'til a point of weakness in which I find myself when I dream of you. All the little details of life that, little by little pour frustration into broken hearts. This weariness of a long gone traveler is rendering me old and I feel I’ve gotten so much older in the past months that is about time I recover my resilience, if I ever had any. Giving oneself too much and too intensely to life and lust has brought me to desire some peace of mind so I can keep on committing the same old mistake and getting older and older, for there will come a day I can’t take it anymore. It’s just too much – even though I know one cannot expect anything from others, all the same, I want to give and give and loose it again but not even that I can sometimes and the Not Possibles are everywhere – so where do I go to find a new possibility in my heart?

How to control myself
How to control my mind
How to find the answer
How to find peace
How to find innocence once again

A.